105 — DARK NIGHT

Soon after the dark door incident, a dark night followed. It became an invisible, heavy shroud that hung over me for years. Ten years actually passed with no recollection of that night. After enduring much pain, I sought help. When the counselor inquired about my past, I kept my walls up. One day the directness of her questions weakened the walls; as they crumbled, the long-held repressed memory came tumbling out. The next several days were a turbulent blur;whirlwind events spun out of control. Regrettable miscommunication led to short-sided judgment among all. A year later, it was hard to believe all that had transpired.

My repressed memory had held me hostage for over ten years, affecting my life in multiple negative ways. Denial created an inability to properly discern, distorting many of my choices.

This painting shows the importance of shining light on our dark nights. Complex windowpanes in this painting represent complicated layers of past pain. Although denial helps one cope after trauma, if not addressed properly, it can block healing and prevent living life fully.